Bad Parenting

I'm a bad parent. I offered some treats to the rodents this morning and they went after them like a pair of crack addicts... that's not good. I'm going to have to make them go cold turkey over the weekend. And that's just cruel, they're only little, it's not their fault they're addicted to fruit shaped biscuity stuff.

Simple Maths

Cocktails + champagne + beer + red wine = a really bad idea.

I'm sitting in the office with my shades on trying to type quietly, wondering why at almost 30 I still don't know any better....http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=b4QgxMqQzYk

What makes an Angry Badger not angry?

Just to prove that I'm not always grumpy, some things that make me happy, in no particular order...


The rodents. Sunflowers. My squidgey niece. Having a laugh with the girls. Cheese and baked bean toasties. Making biscuits. Eating biscuits. The smell of fresh washing. Watching the sunset from Waterloo Bridge. Watching the sunset from pretty much anywhere. Watching movies whilst huddled under my duvet on the sofa.

Feeling nauseous yet?

The peace lily in my kitchen has died. Ominous...? Ignorant Kiwi Guy has left food wrappers on the living room table, on the sofa and in the kitchen, and wonders why we have mice. I'm rising above it today, as a) I have more important things to think about, and b) It's not nice to mock stupid people.

Say what now??

What, it's good for you all of a sudden??
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/itn/20080714/tuk-nicotine-linked-to-memory-boost-dba1618.html

Is it me?

I hate my flatmate. Like, really *really* hate him. At this moment in time I can't think of enough nasty adjectives to describe him, and I'm only one post-it note away from becoming one of the mad twitchy people you read about in the Daily Mirror and Take A Break. Gahhh. As my friend Furious Piglet and I sat by the Serpentine yesterday, we discussed all the various miscreant eejits I've shared homes with. Back when I was at college, there were the 3 girls I shared a house with. We haven't stayed in touch, I can't be friends with people who spend that much money on glitter. When I first moved to London, there was the insane cousin I rented a room from (fair dos to me though, she really was a looper, she snuck into my room once and nicked the bottle of ouzo Furious P bought me back from Greece, then put the empty bottle back in its box after she'd guzzled it). When I moved to SW London, there was was a brief period where everything was good, in that I moved in with someone who was pretty much like me, we drank similar amounts of red wine, and shared a hatred for all things Richard Curtis. Then she bought her own place, and Brummie Girl moved in. BG used to stare at me as I watched TV, and ate so loudly I could hear her 3 rooms away. And now I have the ignorant Kiwi Guy there. It all started so well, too..... he was charming, good looking (not my type though, nowhere near Irish enough) and he baked cheesecakes in his spare time. And then it all started to go wrong: he was charming only when he was trying to charm the knickers off the laydeez, he baked the cheesecakes only when he was being charming, and his laydeez of choice were skinny and exotic pieces of fluff who were none too bright (a piece of cheesecake and you whip your pants off? Seriously??). It's getting worse too. When I go away and ask him to feed my darling little rodents, I come back and they're half dead from thirst and starvation. He leaves cereal bowls on the side for over a week. He's a slob. He's rude. And now he's trying to get into the aged pants of our upstairs neighbour. I mean, like, ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww. But as Furious P pointed out , I can't be so unlucky that nearly every person I've lived with has been a pain in the a*se, maybe it's me and my inordinately high standards that are the problem?

So on the urging of many friends, who are bored of listening to me whine about the ignorant nobhead, I'm looking for somewhere small for me and the rodents. It shall be my haven, where nothing shall glitter, no booze will disappear in mysterious circumstances, all food shall be consumed quietly, and no cheesecakes will be baked for seduction purposes. Hurrah.

Ow

My back hurts and I don't know why.

Nicotiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeee

I know all the reasons not to smoke. I know it's dangerous, unhealthy, smelly, expensive and it's not big or clever in any way. But today I reeeeeaaaalllllyyyyyyy want a smoke. It's no fun feeling like this, because you think that everything will be better if you just get a lungful of lovely toxic, tarry goodness. And that's bollocks, of course it won't make everything better, in fact it will make everything worse because on top of all your other stresses you then feel like a total bloody failure with all the willpower of an anaemic mosquito who's given up bloodsucking for lent. Rubbish.

Erm

Actually, that was a bit random for a first ever blog posting wasn't it? Sorry about that. So. Why Badger and why so Angry? Badger cos I think they're funny and Angry cos I spend many a minute of many a day being pissed off about something or other. Today I was mainly pissed off about being tired and having a crick neck. Also about dreaming about smoking when I gave up 3 weeks ago (gave up says she.... ok so I've had a couple of lapses). And why start a blog? Don't know about that really. Spent a lot of time whinging about people who write blogs. But haven't done anything creative for bloody ages and figured this was quite an easy way to flex my writing muscles again. Not really sure who's going to see this but hey, it's all good... At least if it's rubbish there won't be many people to tell me that.

Horror Scope

I'm such an idiot. I had one bad horoscope this morning and spent an hour trying to find a decent one to cancel it out. Note to self. Stop wasting time with horoscopes when you should be doing work.