I'm all for climbing into bed in mid December and not getting out till March. But apparently I'm not allowed to. So Happy New Year everyone!!
New Year's resolutions have to be amongst the most soul destroying things in the world and yet we all make them. Here are mine. I will inevitably fail at most of them.
1. Smoking blah blah blah. This is still ongoing from last year. Trying to work out how to not have that sneaky fag at the bus stop before work and be able to get on the train without killing anyone. It's time to dig out the old inhalator. Cos there's nothing humiliating about looking like you're sucking on a tampon. Really.
2. Booze. Every year, every SINGLE YEAR, I say I'm going to give up drinking in January, for the whole month. This is absolute bullshit. It could not be more bullshit if it rose up from the middle of a cowpat to declare itself as bullshit. Within a week, sometimes less, I am in the pub being egged on by one of the Tab Twins and telling myself that if it's just shandy it doesn't count. This year I have set my sights to a more reasonable level and just decided not to put that bottle of wine in my basket when I go to the supermarket. Cos it's clearly better to go to the pub and binge drink every night.
3. Diet/ Exercise. That old chestnut... OK, it's January, it's -5 outside and it's dark at 6.30am. None of which is conducive to making me want to go to the gym of a morning and actually get rid of the really rather warming extra layer of flab currently residing on my hips and arse. So all I've done is cut out biscuits, cakes, chocolate, crisps, takeaways, dairy and potatoes. You know, the fun stuff.
4. Get cultured # 1. There's only so many episodes of "Friends" a girl can watch. And as I shamefully demonstrated on NYE, I passed that number many, many, MANY episodes ago. So I'm going to switch off E4 and put on Radio 4. And read books that aren't chicklit. Just as soon as I've finished watching "The Most Annoying Celeb of 2008" on BBC3. FAIL.
5. Get cultured #2. Galleries and Exhibitions. Tons of 'em in London, I should go to more. I started off really well with this one, I went to the Liebovitz exhibition with Furious P at the Portrait Gallery. And nearly brained the shortsighted twonks who stood with their noses pressed up to the exhibits so no-one else could see them, but we don't talk about that. The photos were FAB.
6. Get (un)cluttered, period. This will be the year that I get rid of all the old tat currently residing in my flat. Clothes I don't wear, books I don't read (or have read once, thrown across the room in disgust at how rubbish it was and then never picked up again, except to shove it into my bookcase at a funny angle) and I really should think about getting rid of all those VHS tapes that I have no means of watching... 2009 is the year I stop being a hoarder. Or at least, it's the year that I put everything I don't want in a box to take to the charity shop and then leave in the corner of my room for 8 months.
Why do we do it to ourselves? Is it so we can be even more miserable and self loathing in the coldest months of the year, adding "Total failure at keeping resolutions" to Skint and Overweight in the list of our shortcomings? How terribly British.
On a lighter note, 2 things this morning have brightened my day. Someone very kind has sent me a mug featuring a Rodent with a Lightsabre, and another person has just used the word "frig" in an email, which I haven't heard for about 10 years. Brilliant.
New Year's resolutions have to be amongst the most soul destroying things in the world and yet we all make them. Here are mine. I will inevitably fail at most of them.
1. Smoking blah blah blah. This is still ongoing from last year. Trying to work out how to not have that sneaky fag at the bus stop before work and be able to get on the train without killing anyone. It's time to dig out the old inhalator. Cos there's nothing humiliating about looking like you're sucking on a tampon. Really.
2. Booze. Every year, every SINGLE YEAR, I say I'm going to give up drinking in January, for the whole month. This is absolute bullshit. It could not be more bullshit if it rose up from the middle of a cowpat to declare itself as bullshit. Within a week, sometimes less, I am in the pub being egged on by one of the Tab Twins and telling myself that if it's just shandy it doesn't count. This year I have set my sights to a more reasonable level and just decided not to put that bottle of wine in my basket when I go to the supermarket. Cos it's clearly better to go to the pub and binge drink every night.
3. Diet/ Exercise. That old chestnut... OK, it's January, it's -5 outside and it's dark at 6.30am. None of which is conducive to making me want to go to the gym of a morning and actually get rid of the really rather warming extra layer of flab currently residing on my hips and arse. So all I've done is cut out biscuits, cakes, chocolate, crisps, takeaways, dairy and potatoes. You know, the fun stuff.
4. Get cultured # 1. There's only so many episodes of "Friends" a girl can watch. And as I shamefully demonstrated on NYE, I passed that number many, many, MANY episodes ago. So I'm going to switch off E4 and put on Radio 4. And read books that aren't chicklit. Just as soon as I've finished watching "The Most Annoying Celeb of 2008" on BBC3. FAIL.
5. Get cultured #2. Galleries and Exhibitions. Tons of 'em in London, I should go to more. I started off really well with this one, I went to the Liebovitz exhibition with Furious P at the Portrait Gallery. And nearly brained the shortsighted twonks who stood with their noses pressed up to the exhibits so no-one else could see them, but we don't talk about that. The photos were FAB.
6. Get (un)cluttered, period. This will be the year that I get rid of all the old tat currently residing in my flat. Clothes I don't wear, books I don't read (or have read once, thrown across the room in disgust at how rubbish it was and then never picked up again, except to shove it into my bookcase at a funny angle) and I really should think about getting rid of all those VHS tapes that I have no means of watching... 2009 is the year I stop being a hoarder. Or at least, it's the year that I put everything I don't want in a box to take to the charity shop and then leave in the corner of my room for 8 months.
Why do we do it to ourselves? Is it so we can be even more miserable and self loathing in the coldest months of the year, adding "Total failure at keeping resolutions" to Skint and Overweight in the list of our shortcomings? How terribly British.
On a lighter note, 2 things this morning have brightened my day. Someone very kind has sent me a mug featuring a Rodent with a Lightsabre, and another person has just used the word "frig" in an email, which I haven't heard for about 10 years. Brilliant.
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