Help yourself but hurry up about it

Ok, still a bit rage filled today, so you'll have to excuse me. But seriously, what is wrong with some people??

I went to the supermarket yesterday afternoon and always tend to go to the self checkout afterwards... It's quick, it's easy, and no checkout person can judge me for having chocolate, wine and weightwatchers products in the same basket. (I'm just waiting for the day that someone says to me that if I didn't have the chocolate and wine, I wouldn't need the WW stuff). But yesterday, it seemed that the world and his wife all wanted to do it themselves. This is fine, except for the fact that NONE OF THEM COULD WORK OUT HOW TO USE THE EFFING CHECKOUTS. It's not difficult, you scan the barcode, you pack the shopping, you pay. It took me ages to get out, and my patience was at an all time low yesterday (Ignorant Kiwi's fault, there's a surprise), I'm surprised I didn't get kicked out of Asda for beating someone over the head with a packet of prawns.

Then, THEN!!!, this morning, whilst late for work and with only a couple of minutes to get my ticket (Ignorant Kiwi's fault, are you spotting a theme?), I had to queue at the machine. If they handed out Olympic medals for speediness at the ticket machine, I would get gold. I've got it down to less than a minute....unless some fuckwitted eejit can't work out how a) what ticket they need and b) where their card goes in. Tip: It's the big old slot with CARDS written next to it.

Seriously people.... if you can't do it, GET OUT OF MY WAY.